The Dreamer and Obsessions in Me: Failure

Pandu's Church @ Bandung

Last month, my aunty who lives in Bandung (another biggest cities in Indonesia nearby Jakarta) told me that there's a photography competition at her church. She told me to enter the free competition and give a try as an experience. So I thought, why not, beside my heart felt like I had to do it so I did anyway.

My family and friends were being so supportive and said at least one of my photos deserved to win a prize. I was so confident especially when a random stranger came and praised me. He was even asked some the photos to be printed. They said that the photos could be either about the people, interior and its exterior and this what we had chosen. And here are the photos that could made me a winner.

Then today, my mum told me not to be so sad and down knowing that the winners are guys. Of course I was so down because I could see the disappointment in her face and beside I already had planned to get a good use of the money! I was so torn apart, furious with everything but had to stay calm in front of her. Thanks to the beloveds who listened to my angers and comforted me afterwards. I know at the end of the night, I would be saying "thank you" to the Almighty for the ups and downs of today's life. But this anger of mine is just hard to be controlled, made me felt like a failure. Another moment, another failure!

However this quote that Devi gave me the other night that ran in my head " Remember, nothing worth while comes easy. There will be many nights when you think to your self "what am I doing". Stick with it and there will be a payoff at the end of the tunnel. Most importantly, enjoy your whole journey. The success at the end wouldn't be as welcome if there wasn't the struggle at the beginning".

Isn't that exactly what I'm going through right now? What Am I doing ? Am I really doing the right thing? Is this the career that I'm so passionate about? So many questions and all I needed are opportunities. Well, I guess I just need to be more focused, determined, seeking more opportunities, be humble and willing to learn. A new better photographer side of me, here I come. Thanks Devi , Karin and Andi for the supports and critics :)

PS : These are the other photos that ain't submitted but I like it anyway or might be I have submitted a wrong photo? *wondering now*